And God Looked Down...

And God Looked Down ... 

Most seniors never get enough exercise. 
In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking ... And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. 
In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch ...  And God looked down and saw that it was good. 

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise ... God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's Gods will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older: 

#9- Death is the number one killer in the world. 

#8- Life is sexually transmitted. 

#7- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 

#6- Men have 2 motivations:  Hunger and hanky panky ... and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that  genius has its limits. "Albert Einstein" 


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Universal Laws

Law of Mechanical Repair  - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies

and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folks.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet!

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

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Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims

Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French  (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc, but it's ”insensitive” to make jokes about Muslims? 

Time to level the playing field and be “politically correct” by including the Muslims! 

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:


1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor ... You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes ... You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth ... You may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean ... You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide ... You may be a Muslim

6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against ... You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing ... You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs ... You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four ... You may be a Muslim. 

 In America we strive to be jokingly 'offense' to everyone equally ... lol

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The Wisdom of Age

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. 

He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."

Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired.

Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??

Dr. Geezer: --- "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see !!!!

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so -- " Here's your $1000 back."

Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."


Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "

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I miss Bill ...

I miss Bill ...

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is good natured political humor from a show on Canadian TV, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton. 

"Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.  Yep, that's right - I miss Bill!  He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.  He played the sax.  He smoked weed.  He had his way with white women." 

"Even now. . . look at him.  His wife works and he doesn’t.  AND he gets a check from the government every month."

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations’ distinguished men.  It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.  The DODGE DRAFTER will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."  


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LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.

#8.  I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

 

#7.  I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as it is politically correct.

#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.  I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5.  I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

 

#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves.  They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

 #2.  I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

... And, the #1 reason: I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our  own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America .  We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.

 

 "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"... 

 Albert Einstein

 =======================

I know you all will appreciate this definition.  The best description of Obamacare so far: Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it." A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's the definition of a stool sample."

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Random thoughts as we age ...

The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks.

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap.

I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".  I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes" .

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people" ?

Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!
 

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Sex at 73 . . .

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 73. I'm so happy, because I live at number 71. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road
~~~~
Answering machine message, "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~ 

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Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root  canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

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The Mayonnaise Jar and two Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers story.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. 

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. 

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. 

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into all the open areas between the golf balls. 

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They all agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. 

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling every remaining empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. 

Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. 

 Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. 

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.'

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The Train of Life.

At birth we board a train and meet our parents. 

We believe they will always travel by our side. 

However, at some station, our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. 

As time goes by, other people will board the train, and they will be significant - siblings, friends, the love of your life, children, and many others. 

Some will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we won't realize they vacated their seats. 

The train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes, and farewells. A successful ride requires having a good relationship with all passengers. We must give the best of ourselves. 

The mystery to everyone is, we do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life. 

I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life. Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey. 

Be sure to thank those who are passengers on your train ... before the next station arrives. 



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The Real Truths in Life

The Real Truths in Life
 
1.    A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
 
2.    We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
 
3.    Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.
 
4.    Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.
 
5.    Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
 
6.    I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit.  A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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DID YOU KNOW ....

1. YOUR SHOES ARE THE FIRST THING PEOPLE SUBCONSCIOUSLY NOTICE ABOUT YOU … WEAR NICE SHOES.

2. IF YOU SIT FOR  MORE THAN 11 HOURS A DAY, THERE'S A 50% CHANCE YOU'LL DIE WITHIN THE NEXT 3 YEARS.

3. THERE ARE AT LEAST 6 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU. THERE'S A 9% CHANCE THAT YOU'LL MEET ONE OF THEM IN YOUR LIFETIME.

4. SLEEPING WITHOUT A PILLOW REDUCES BACK PAIN AND KEEPS YOUR SPINE STRONGER.

5. A PERSON’S HEIGHT IS DETERMINED BY THEIR FATHER, AND THEIR WEIGHT IS DETERMINED BY THEIR MOTHER.

6. IF A PART OF YOUR BODY "FALLS ASLEEP",YOU CAN ALMOST ALWAYS "WAKE IT UP" BY SHAKING YOUR HEAD.

7. THERE ARE THREE THINGS THE HUMAN BRAIN CANNOT RESIST NOTICING -FOOD, ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE AND DANGER.

8. RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE TEND TO CHEW FOOD ON THEIR RIGHT SIDE.

9. PUTTING DRY TEA BAGS IN GYM BAGS OR SMELLY SHOES WILL ABSORB THE UNPLEASANT ODOR.

10. ACCORDING TO ALBERT EINSTEIN, IF HONEY BEES WERE TO DISAPPEAR FROM EARTH, HUMANS WOULD BE DEAD WITHIN 4 YEARS.

11. THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF APPLES, THAT IF YOU ATE A NEW ONE EVERYDAY, IT WOULD TAKE OVER 20 YEARS TO TRY THEM ALL.

12. YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT EATING FOR WEEKS, BUT YOU WILL ONLY LIVE 11 DAYS WITHOUT SLEEPING.

13. PEOPLE WHO LAUGH A LOT ARE HEALTHIER THAN THOSE WHO DON’T.

14. LAZINESS AND INACTIVITY KILLS JUST AS MANY PEOPLE AS  SMOKING.

15. A HUMAN BRAIN HAS A CAPACITY TO STORE 5 TIMES AS MUCH INFORMATION AS WIKIPEDIA.

16. OUR BRAIN USES THE SAME AMOUNT OF POWER AS A 10-WATT LIGHT BULB!!

17. OUR BODY GIVES ENOUGH HEAT IN 30 MINUTES TO BOIL 1.5 LITERS OF WATER!!

18. THE OVUM EGG IS THE LARGEST CELL AND THE SPERM IS THE SMALLEST CELL!!

19. STOMACH ACID (CONC. HCL) IS STRONG ENOUGH TO DISSOLVE RAZOR  BLADES!!

20. TAKE A 10-30 MINUTE WALK EVERY DAY & WHILE YOU WALK, SMILE. IT IS THE ULTIMATE ANTIDEPRESSANT.

21. SIT IN SILENCE FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES EACH DAY.

22. WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, PRAY TO ASK GOD'S GUIDANCE FOR YOUR PURPOSE TODAY.

23. EAT MORE FOODS THAT GROW ON TREES AND PLANTS AND EAT LESS FOOD THAT IS MANUFACTURED IN PLANTS.

24. DRINK GREEN TEA AND PLENTY OF WATER. EAT BLUEBERRIES, BROCCOLI, AND ALMONDS.

25. TRY TO MAKE AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE SMILE EACH DAY.

26. DON'T WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS ENERGY ON GOSSIP, ENERGY VAMPIRES, ISSUES OF THE PAST, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OR THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL. INSTEAD INVEST YOUR ENERGY IN THE POSITIVE PRESENT MOMENT.

27. EAT BREAKFAST LIKE A KING, LUNCH LIKE A PRINCE AND DINNER LIKE A COLLEGE KID WITH A MAXED OUT CHARGE CARD.

28. LIFE ISN'T FAIR, BUT IT'S STILL GOOD.

29. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME HATING ANYONE. FORGIVE THEM FOR EVERYTHING!

30. DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

31. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT. AGREE TO DISAGREE.

32. MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAST SO IT WON'T SPOIL THE PRESENT.

33. DON'T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEIR JOURNEY IS ALL ABOUT.

34. NO ONE IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR HAPPINESS EXCEPT YOU.

35. FRAME EVERY SO-CALLED DISASTER WITH THESE WORDS: 'IN FIVE YEARS, WILL THIS MATTER?'

36. HELP THE NEEDY! BE GENEROUS! BE A 'GIVER' NOT A 'TAKER'.

37. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

38. TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.

39. HOWEVER GOOD OR BAD A SITUATION IS, IT WILL CHANGE.

40. YOUR JOB WON'T TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU ARE SICK. YOUR FRIENDS WILL ... STAY IN TOUCH.

41. ENVY IS A WASTE OF TIME. YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL YOU NEED.

42. EACH NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED, PRAY TO GOD AND BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU'LL ACCOMPLISH, TODAY !

43. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

Great Timeless Truths

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.  John Adams

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.   Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of government. But then I repeat myself.   Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle..  Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.   George Bernard  Shaw

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.   Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.     P.J.  O'Rourke,  Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody  else.   Frederic  Bastiat,  French economist(1801-1850)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.   Will  Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!    P.J..  O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.   Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!       Pericles (430  B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.  Mark Twain   (1866)

Talk is cheap...except when government does it.    Anonymous

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.   Ronald  Reagan

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.  Mark Twain

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save government.   Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.   Edward Langley,  Artist (1928-1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.    Thomas Jefferson

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.  Aesop