The Wisdom of Age

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. 

He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."

Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired.

Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??

Dr. Geezer: --- "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see !!!!

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so -- " Here's your $1000 back."

Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."


Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "

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I miss Bill ...

I miss Bill ...

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is good natured political humor from a show on Canadian TV, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton. 

"Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.  Yep, that's right - I miss Bill!  He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.  He played the sax.  He smoked weed.  He had his way with white women." 

"Even now. . . look at him.  His wife works and he doesn’t.  AND he gets a check from the government every month."

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations’ distinguished men.  It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.  The DODGE DRAFTER will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."  


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LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.

#8.  I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

 

#7.  I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as it is politically correct.

#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.  I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5.  I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

 

#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves.  They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

 #2.  I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

... And, the #1 reason: I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our  own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America .  We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.

 

 "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"... 

 Albert Einstein

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I know you all will appreciate this definition.  The best description of Obamacare so far: Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it." A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's the definition of a stool sample."

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